#how aziraphale resists i will never know

[bipolargreen]

David Tennant is one of those actors who can transform from dorky dad into pure sex on legs with the word “Action!” 🥵🔥🥵

A behind the scenes pic from Season 1 💗

[books-and-omens]

Rather a big thing, by the way, that many of us are probably re-evaluating right now is Crowley consistently not wanting to be called kind or nice. Especially not by Aziraphale.

In S1, that was what triggered the wall slam. ‘Bit of an overreaction, if you ask me’—but in S2 we see more about how strong Crowley’s feelings are on the topic.

In the Job minisode, Crowley vehemently insists that he is a demon. He is so angry at God. When Aziraphale tells him that he is certain Crowley does not want to destroy Job’s children, Crowley takes his glasses off to expose full-demon irises and looks Aziraphale in the eye as requested and says, “I want to”.

Aziraphale is heartbroken over that. His shoulders slump, he exhales shakily, his faith in Crowley has indeed cracked. Look at him:

And then, of course, he figures out the trick, and it turns out that he is exactly right about Crowley. “Well,” he says, and looks vindicated, triumphant, amused.

He was right. He knew Crowley would resist atrocity with everything he has. He knew Crowley would understand it’s an atrocity in a way Gabriel and Michael did not seem to (and neither did those two care). What Aziraphale sees is that, for all of Crowley’s demonic posturing, Crowley came through.

(He remembers the angel that Crowley used to be. So joyful. So happy. So unlike Gabriel and Michael, too: the angel Crowley would never have gone along with killing Job’s children.)

At the end of this minisode, Aziraphale is ready to go to Hell. He thinks he must: he lied, he thwarted the will of God. Crowley, of course, tells him that he is simply an angel who goes along with Heaven as far as he can.

Aziraphale will process this in some way later, but… he won’t process it in the same way as Crowley. Aziraphale won’t reject the idea of Heavenly goodness—Heaven is supposed to be good, that’s the whole point—but he will take note of how, time and time again, Crowley exemplifies this idea when the actual Heavenly angels do not.

Across history, Aziraphale sees Crowley do things that are good. And then disclaim them, reject them, call them something else. A demon could get into a lot of trouble for doing the right thing, Crowley had warned him a long time ago.

Aziraphale will remember this.

Don’t say thank you, Crowley hisses in the Bastille. My lot do not send rude notes.

And the Victorian minisode?

Off my head on laudanum, not responsible for my actions, Crowley tells Aziraphale vehemently after saving Elspeth from suicide. (In Christianity, certainly in the 19th century, suicide condemns a soul; one who died by suicide does not even get a Christian burial. So Crowley has actively diverted a soul from Hell by drinking the laudanum.)

And—look at how indulgently Aziraphale is looking at Crowley as Crowley insists he is not responsible for his actions.

Of course you aren’t, my dear, he seems to think. We both know you did it on purpose, to have a plausible excuse for Hell. But of course we both know that you are in fact responsible for your actions, and that, at great personal risk and cost, you have once again chosen to do good.

So by the end, from Aziraphale’s point of view, Crowley has a much better idea of Good than Heaven itself. And—oh joy!—in the finale, Metatron, the voice of God, finally acknowledges that fact and validates it. Your demon recognized me when nobody else did, Metatron essentially says.

(I just cannot with the ominous dramatic music that plays as Metatron leads Aziraphale out of the shop. Get the FUCK OUT David Arnold, this is so pointed and disturbing. In this season and in the last, the music is narration, it tells us so much without a single word.)

Anyway! Yes! In the finale, Aziraphale is being manipulated, and part of why it works is that he still does not understand Crowley’s motives in insisting he is not nice or good. He has been interpreting Crowley’s insistence solely as protective, which makes a lot of sense from what he has seen. A demon doing good deeds must hide to avoid punishment and pain. Crowley has hid for six thousand years, has gotten used to hiding. Sure, the last four years were different, but even in these years the danger hasn’t gone away, and six thousand years is a long time to set a pattern.

Aziraphale wants to see Crowley happy. He wants to see him—both of them—safe. And here, finally, is an official Metatron-offered way. Heaven is finally admitting and working on its mistakes. Surely Crowley will forgive them? Surely Crowley and Aziraphale can make Heaven better, together? Make into what it should be? (And they would be safe, they would be safe, they would be safe.)

They still haven’t talked. Aziraphale still does not understand Crowley’s choices. In the past, it might have been too dangerous for Aziraphale to know exactly why Crowley Fell, while for Crowley, it might have been too vulnerable a thing to discuss. So they haven’t talked, and Aziraphale does not know the exact questions Crowley had asked, does not know the exact reasons. He assumes.

And his assumptions, oh so well-meant, are going to be catastrophic.

[actual-changeling]

i have a thing with hands and the scene where aziraphale asks crowley to dance is playing on repeat in my head.

while yes, the primary purpose of the ball was to get maggie and nina together, it was ALSO for him and crowley, and you literally cannot convince me otherwise.

"perhaps you can tell me while we dance?"

the look on his face is pure excitement, he is basically bubbling over with it, and if you look at the few seconds before he turns around, you can see how nervous he is, too. his eyes keep flicking back and forth and he wets his lips several times and swallows before he starts talking. this is peak "i'm asking my secret crush and prom date to a dance" behaviour.

crowley's reaction is confusion ("we don't dance) but it's not a no, and aziraphale knows that. his absolutely precious, smitten smile just KILLS me, because boy he would have grabbed him and pulled him onto the dance floor (or what passes as one anyway) no matter what he responded.

yet crowley didn't say no, just "we don't do this" and aziraphale silently says we do now. and then! and THEN! before he takes his hand he glances down at it like he is trying to make sure it's where he thinks it is and that he can grab it. he's probably also just brimming with energy and excitement and it needs to be let out somehow.

but what REALLY gets me is that absolutely adorable GIGGLE he lets out when he takes crowley's hand. he GIGGLES. it's small and breathless and he licks his lips AGAIN. tell me that isn't middle school crush behaviour, he is going through so many emotions it's incredible how well michael sheen portrays all of them at once.

just. the way he is holding his hand. his thumb probably caressed the back of it when he adjusted his grasp and pulled him along, and crowley simply goes with him, zero resistance offered.

if you look closely, you can even see crowley's fingers slightly curl as if he is starting to hold his hand back properly. aziraphale wanted to dance with him so bad, to have him close and hold his hand and look into his eyes while they participate in what he thinks is the definition of falling in love. and crowley will do whatever to make him happy, and if it means dancing and touching him for several minutes, well, he sure as hell isn't going to complain about that.

long story short i'm deceased and will never recover.

[bloodashre]

Sorry to ruin the movie magic for some of you, but it's extremely unlikely that the shots of The Kiss are edited to be longer. Like, a million to one.

How do I know? I'm in school for filmmaking, so I'll share a bit with you.

1. The first reason is the most important. It is very difficult to edit a shot to be longer (and almost never done, especially by professionals) and not have it be obvious. It is painfully obvious, particularly to other filmmakers, when someone does actually do this. I can almost guarantee that if this had happened, other filmmakers in the industry most certainly would have called them out for it. I've personally watched the scene literally thousands of times (I'm not exaggerating) and in my semi-professional opinion (yes, I've already made my own films, though I haven't been paid for any of my work yet), it's not edited to be longer.

2. Nearly as important and launching off the above, it's much more likely - and more easily and actually often done - that it's edited to be shorter.

Additionally, there's no reason to think it would be edited to be longer when it comes to the story. It's unnecessary. The reason it looks so awkward to solve of you is because - newsflash - it IS awkward! It's meant to be awkward!

Aziraphale is caught off guard, during a moment of being about to break down, crying, in the midst of an argument. He was just rejected. He's potentially thought about this moment so many times. It is possible he thought The Metatron was threatening Crowley, which just happened only a few minutes ago! And lastly, there's literally thousands of years of feelings that haven't been spoken aloud - at least not properly, depending which theory you follow.

And there's even more depending which theories you subscribe to that support this even further.

And then, there's the fact that, at least for a moment, he kisses him back. He goes from being surprised, to resistance, to acceptance, to reciprocation, to rejection in a matter of less than 30 freaking seconds - while also portraying all the unspokenness, uncertainty, and fear of 6000 years, as well as a possible threat AND rejection of Crowley refusing to come with him ALL AT THE SAME TIME.

It's so awkward and complicated and terrible - and yet also wonderful - and Michael Sheen is honestly a fucking MASTER for the amount of emotions he's able to portray in such an insanely small amount of time. Please please PLEASE don't reduce his abilities and the beauty of the story to editing some bullshit that any filmmaker with any actual integrity would never do.

[curiouspupsicle]

Good Omens Fan Fiction Friday (1/31/25) - Resistance!!

Being a well informed American living under an administration determined to dismantle our democracy (already stressed) and cause as much damage as possible has even my comfort moments turning to resistance. After all, evil people have always existed. And good people have always resisted. So is there anything my Good Omens fixation has to say about resistance? Given Terry Pratchett's moral universe, we could argue that all of Good Omens is steeped in resistance. But I'm going to limit myself to a few specific favorite fics that highlight different forms of resistance.

Let's start with the series that got me thinking in this direction: Demon and Angel Professors (G) by Ghostinthehouse (@ineffableghost). This is 200 ficlets, each exactly 666 words, hanging on a silly premise. Everyone loves literature Professor Fell who goes on regular tangents about his sweet husband Anthony. Everyone fears grumpy botany Professor Crowley who treats his students like he treats his plants. And anytime Crowley goes near Fell, the first-year students go into protective mode. Because surely Crowley must be up to no good and a potential harm to dear Prof Fell and his precious Anthony. But beyond that bit of fun repeated every year with a new group of incoming students are amazing stories of resistance against those who would cause mental harm or physical violence to disabled people, folks with a variety of gender identities and presentations, queer individuals, people dealing with trauma--basically anyone who might be vulnerable in a thoughtless and even wicked society.

Sometimes resistance is persuading someone to do better. Other times it's offering a hint that makes someone think. It may involve a hands-on approach to someone who only knows violence. Or it may be getting someone to a safe place as quickly as possible.

I read it over a weekend. But I think there's a better approach to reading this long series--bookmark it in your phone when you are doing a hurry-up-and-wait activity (jury duty, medical treatments, picking up kids at school, etc.). The short length of each fic makes it easy to pick up and put down. The variety of "ducklings" tales (what the ineffable pair call the students they help) will keep you interested. And the sense of joy and hope will make it a good way to spend time on a challenging day. Resistance fics aren't all human AUs. Check out The Last Angel (E) by @bellisima-writes. For millennia, Crowley has been Hell's Grand Inquisitor. He never served on earth. After Hell won their war against Heaven, they finally track down the last remaining Angel, Aziraphale. Crowley's given the job of torturing him for information. I don't want to give too much away. But Crowley's form of resistance involves being true to himself no matter what Hell demands. And Aziraphale has a more direct form of resistance planned. It's an exciting read as well as thought-provoking.

@snae-b writes the kind of fics you don't want to start reading before bed--at least not if you plan on getting up early the next day. Echo (E) is no exception. Each day, barista Aziraphale wakes up and goes into work. He serves a chauffeur, Crowley, who seems strangely familiar. Asking questions like "what makes one human" and "how do you fight against an evil activity that no one knows about," Echo is also just a plain old compelling story. And a resistance tale that, despite its futuristic setting, would not feel out of place beside a tale of the French underground resisting Nazis.

Mutual Aid (T) by malicegeres predates the Good Omens tv show. So presumably that makes it part of the Book!Omens universe. In it, radical bookseller Ezra Fell ends up hiding anarchist Crowley from the police after he's injured by skinheads. As the title indicates, they find a common cause and start working together. Loved the depiction of Adam as a leader. And the fic includes a listing of leftist political resources at the end.

Many consider The False and the Fair (E) by @princip1914 to be one of the best human AUs in the Good Omens universe. I certainly do. Aziraphale Wright's family runs a coal mine. Anthony Crowley, his former best friend, is the son of a mine worker. I don't want to spoil the story if you haven't read it. But what appears to be a story of regrets and making amends has a strong thread of accountability that results in wrongs being made right after a powerful act of resistance (with some help from the press). If you haven't read it, check it out. And if you have, read it again--with an eye towards resistance.

Finally, I'll end with a WIP, Good Works (E) by @majnoonathelibrarian. Set in 1987, Aziraphale is an assistant parliamentary secretary in the Thatcher government who finds something strange in the documents he's handling. Crowley is a mysterious "fixer" for a consulting firm who finds himself drawn into queer activism. Both of them have to navigate their day jobs along with increasing activism in a couple of different streams. The characterization is fascinating and the writer strings out the mysteries through the tale. This WIP is regularly updated and nearly complete. Remember, the fan fic community is a COMMUNITY. So don't forget to encourage writers of works underway by leaving kudos and comments. Writers are a gift to fans and we need to show them our appreciation. Finally, I'll give my pitch as someone who has been around much longer than most of you reading this. The yucky things happening in the world can be overwhelming. But it's a backlash. Because we've already made so much progress (both The False and the Fair and Good Works are good reminders of just how deadly the 1980s were for queer people). So resist. By making art and telling stories. By protesting. By contacting the people in power making decisions you disagree with. By caring for the vulnerable. By speaking out at local political meetings. By amplifying the voices of marginalized people. By using any of your unearned benefits to advocate for others. And by just existing as the beautiful and unique individual you are.

[crushmeeren]

Crowley/Fem Reader/Aziraphale

Warnings; Bottom! Crowley, Top! Aziraphale, my version of Soft Dom! Reader, Anal Sex, Rimming, Vaginal Sex, Female Anatomy/Pronouns, Reader does wear a strap on!

Note; I wrote this entire thing as a request and I FUCKING FORGOT TO MAKE THE READER A DEMON, IM SORRY REQUESTOR 😭 I hope you and everyone else still enjoy 🥲

AO3 Link; Escapades🪽

Word Count; 6.2k

It always starts the same way. Crowley stumbles upon a new sexual escapade he wants the three of you to experience in the bedroom. Then the sneaky bastard riles up you and Aziraphale, way too easily if you’re being honest, and then three of you end up tumbling into the bedroom. You’re learning, way too late into the evening, that Crowley had been made aware of what pegging is. The red headed demon absolutely got more than a little drunk with Nina and Maggie last night, and consequently ended up with more details of their sex life than he wanted.

The only part he couldn’t shake off, was when they mentioned the pegging, and how mind blowing the experience can be. They talked about how ridiculously hot it can be, not to mention how good it feels, having your female partner, who doesn’t naturally have a dick, fuck you with more or less a cock of their own.

As soon as the the images flashed behind his eyes, he felt his cheeks burn. He took a sip of his scotch and he felt warmth spread through his belly pleasurably. He knows it’s not from the alcohol and for fucks sake, he just couldn’t resist being interested, the idea stuck to his brain like glue. It stayed with him the entire night. He, with extreme difficulty, was able to keep himself from getting rock hard that night. The thought of your smaller frame underneath him threatening to send blood rushing south.

That would’ve been too embarrassing if he spontaneously had to leave his impromptu drinking session with the girls because he couldn’t get his boner to go away. Truthfully, he had thought about being fucked by you often. Thinking about getting railed by you made his dick throb involuntarily. He knows the Angel wants it as well. He and Aziraphale had spoken about it, in great detail, before. He’d even had the Angel wrap a hand around his cock, whisper sweet nothings into his ear about you fucking him until he’d cum so hard his sticky release had hit him in the face.

Surprisingly enough, the two of them had never heard of or come across pegging before, leading them to believe it was never going to be an option. The fact that it was, is the reason Crowley showed up eagerly late the next day at the bookshop with a fucking strap on in his hands. You attempt to burn holes in his skull as your gaze flickers between the item in his hand and his smug looking face. Your eye twitches.

“Pegging?” you ask in disbelief, eyebrow raised as you cross your arms and push out one of your hips. Warmth pools in your belly at the mention of it, it’s not like you haven’t thought about it before. They had never brought it up so you just assumed they weren’t interested in that. You can see you were clearly wrong.

The three of you are in the bookshop, Aziraphale at his desk, reading glasses on the bridge of his nose as he looks over one of his books about “the art of prestidigitation”, as he likes to call it. Once he saw what the demon was holding he immediately turned back to his desk and started to try extremely hard to pointedly not listen to the conversation that you and Crowley began having. He ignored the way his cheeks burned, and the butterflies that filled his belly when Crowley started talking.

“Yes love, ever heard of it?” Crowley replies in a teasing tone of voice, smirking as he takes his black glasses off, setting them down on a nearby surface. He turns to face you again, stretching out his arm to wiggle the strap on at you, fake dick and all bobbing about in the wind. You roll your eyes at him, before narrowing your gaze. Sometimes you can’t believe the blunt audacity Crowley has, but when he gets these ideas it usually works out in the end so you haven’t turned him down yet. Laughing incredulously, you tilt your head and you reply with just as much attitude.

“Yes, I’ve heard of it, I’m just surprised you haven’t, I didn’t realize you had that little experience Crowley.” Uncrossing your arms you place them on your hips. You smile with fake innocence and make eye contact with him. You see his smirk grow even wider as he tilts his head back in amused laughter. Eyes coming to rest on your face, Crowley steps closer to you, getting into your space and looking down at you.

You can feel some of the heat radiating from him and you resist the urge to blush. You stare up at him, not backing down. The demon wraps his warm, slim fingers around your hip, slipping his thumb under your shirt, softly rubbing the skin over the bone there. You bite your lip to hold back a soft moan and the air between the two of you starts to thicken like warm honey. Crowley trails a finger softly down your neck. A shiver runs down your spine as he leans closer, lips softly brushing your cheek before he whispers in your ear. The bastard knows what he’s doing and you fall for it every time.

“Well then, I suppose I’m gonna need you to show me what it means to get fucked hmm? My pretty goddess,” he coos, voice smooth and low as he kisses your earlobe, then he moves to press a kiss into the sensitive skin of your neck. The feeling of his breath tickling your skin as he mouths at your throat makes your body flush, warm arousal instantly shooting to your belly. You almost forgot the Angel was here when you and Crowley hear the sound of a page ripping and Aziraphale cursing softly in the background.

——————————————————

As you expected, Crowley is the most eager to get pegged first. The idea has been rolling around in his brain the most lately and he’s aching for it. Furthermore he’s a little shit who always gets what he wants. So Aziraphale, living up to his title as Angel once again, caves easily to the demons request. He really can’t say no to his pretty face. Crowley promises him he’ll reward him in return, whispering sweetly to him and kissing his cheeks as the two climb onto the bed.

You had decided to leave that decision up to the two of them, knowing nobody is going to get left out either way. Aziraphale really doesn’t mind, he knows no matter what he’s going to feel good. Whether it’s watching you and Crowley put on a show for him or he’s actively participating, he’s just so happy to be a part of it.

After you’ve flipped off the overhead light, you turn on a lamp in corner of the room. It glows a comforting soft yellow and makes the space feel much more intimate. Despite the soothing light, you unfortunately spent about 10 irritating minutes cursing and figuring out how to get the damn strap on hooked to your hips and under your thighs correctly. You walk over to stand at the end of the bed, near the edge as you finish securing it in place.

Aziraphale and Crowley are on the bed, completely bare as they kiss eagerly in front of you. You hum softly in approval as you listen to the slick sound of their lips meeting over and over. They are both raised up on their knees, facing each other, giving you a pretty picture of their side profiles as they make out. Aziraphale is holding Crowleys waist and in turn Crowley wraps his arms around the Angels neck. He plays with the soft white curls at the nape of Aziraphales neck and the Angel tugs Crowley closer into his chest by his hips.

You feel your pussy getting slick and it throbs beneath the strap on. Your teeth dig into the sensitive skin of your bottom lip. Gods, they just look so fucking hot together. They are your wet dream and you let your eyes trail up and down their bodies, noticing both of their flushed, hard cocks rubbing together with every tiny movement they make. The tips of their cocks shiny with precum as they continue to lightly thrust against each other. You have the urge to reach out and wrap one hand around both of them, feeling the warm, silky skin and jerking them off together. You file that thought away and save it for later.

You hear a soft groan, which you recognize comes from the demon and your eyes snap upwards to see he’s already looking at you. His yellow eyes watching you intensely. You realize he was trying to get your attention and you raise an eyebrow at him. He keeps eye contact with you and he smiles into the kiss with Aziraphale. Crowley makes sure you can see his forked tongue as he slips it into the Angels mouth, making Aziraphale gasp softly and open up easily for him.

Your pussy clenches around air and your fingers dig into your palm as you see their tongues roll together. Crowley turns his attention back to his heated kiss with the Angel, closing his eyes again. You notice Aziraphales cheeks are a pretty pink as they start to really get into it, Aziraphale digging his nails into the demons skin. They lean into each other and you see Crowleys hand start to trail down Aziraphales chest. He drags his nails over the Angels stomach, making a move to reach for the Angels cock.

“No,” you order him, quite casually, and his hand stops in its place. Crowley whines into Aziraphales mouth and breaks away from the kiss. The Angel pants and leans forward as if he’s chasing the demons lips. Turning his head to look at you, bottom lip sticking out, Crowley keeps his other hand perched on the Angels shoulder as his chest heaves. They both have a pretty flush and Aziraphale decides to rest his forehead against Crowleys shoulder.

“You’re no fun darling,” Crowley pouts, trying to give you wide, puppy eyes.

“Oh no, whatever shall I do?” you say sarcastically, fake gasping and bringing a hand up to cover your mouth. Crowley narrows his eyes playfully and sticks his tongue out at you. He pushes back from the Angels grip and Aziraphale sits back on his calves, hands continuing to rest gently on Crowleys lean waist. You get a sense that the demon is actively trying to push you as Crowleys cock twitches when he makes a show of running his hand down his chest, inching closer to his own dick. You know he’s definitely testing your patience on purpose, but you keep your face neutral when you speak. He knows you’re the one in charge here and you won’t give him the satisfaction of letting him see the flash of agitation that courses through you.

“Crowley,” you say warningly, voice low as you keep your eyes on his face. He freezes the movement of his hand and reluctantly rests both hands on Aziraphales shoulders. Crowleys behavior isn’t unusual though, as he usually tries to see how much he can tip toe the line before you punish him and it’s clear he just wants to act like a brat tonight. You sniff once and decide to ignore him, knowing it’ll piss him off. You look at Aziraphale, who gives you a sweet smile, letting his palms rest on the tops of his thighs now. You return the smile, feeling your love for the Angel blossom warmly in your chest. He’s such a good boy for you.

“Angel, you’ve been so good, you can relax for a moment, why don’t you come here and sit next to me,” you purr, praising him. He blushes and you see his pretty pink cock kick at your sweet praise. He eagerly nods his head and starts to move away from Crowley, who makes a noise of protest in response.

“Yes my love,” he replies obediently, moving to sit on the edge of the bed, close to you, with his feet on the floor. He leans his weight back on his hands as he angles his body slightly toward you. His cock leans against his lower belly, drooling slightly and he obeys the unspoken rule of not touching himself.

You reach over to run your fingers through the Angels soft hair once affectionately. You get a soft hum in return. Focusing back on Crowley you move your fingers in a come hither motion, waiting for Crowley to obey you. Surprisingly he does so without protest, crawling forward on his knees and then sitting on his haunches in front of you. You glance at Aziraphale, making sure he’s watching. You know it turns the Angel on, he loves to witness you be more dominant, especially when it’s directed at the demon. Your eyes meet his pretty blue ones and you wink at him, smiling cheekily. The Angel feels a thrill tingle down his spine.

You turn your gaze back to Crowley, who seems to be annoyed he didn’t have your undivided attention. You giggle at his expression, which makes his cheeks turn red. His pretty lips tug into a scowl. You smile, not kindly, and bring your hand up, wrapping your fingers around his jaw tightly, forcing his head straight to look into your eyes. Your fingers press into his warm skin and his snake like eyes widen a bit, tracking back and forth. You make a tsk sound and shake your head softly in disappointment. He watches you, his eyes half lidded. You bend closer, getting into his face and you whisper menacingly, eyes sharp.

“If you try to break my rules again Crowley, I’m gonna have our Angel finger you open and then I’m gonna fuck him instead and make you watch from the side. I’ll tie your hands behind your back if I have too,” you growl, squeezing his jaw tightly as you lean back. Crowley stares at you, unblinking, unable to let his mouth fall open due to your tight grip. Your words sent heat blazing down his spine and straight to his cock. You hear Aziraphales soft groan from your left and you look over at him, admiring the way his hands clench the sheets beneath his fingers, knuckles white. His chest is pink now as well and you can see his dick jump occasionally as he watches you and Crowley. You smirk and look back at Crowley when he whines in his throat.

“Do you hear me?” you ask firmly, raising an eyebrow. Crowley nods the best he can. “Say it,” you demand, dropping your grip on his jaw.

“Y-yes I understand my love,” he chokes out, chewing on his bottom lip. You nod once in approval. Moving away from them both, you slip around to the side of the bed, getting up and crawling to lay down near the headboard. The two of them have turned to watch you, eyes lustful as they watch you lay your head on one of the pillows. You bend your legs and plant your feet, digging your toes into the soft sheets below. Raising up on your elbows, you give the others a pointed look, seeing as they both have remained silent.

“Well? Come here my pretty little demon, sit in my lap,” you purr, fingers coming up to motion him forward. Crowley wastes no time and crawls up the bed toward you, looking excited at what’s to come. He gets between your legs and slips through, a leg on each side of your hips as he sits down. The movement causes his hard, overly heated cock to make contact with the cool material of the strap on and he jolts a little, rubbing his cock further against yours and he cries out. Your hands shoot out to grip his waist, keeping him still and he shifts his weight, getting used to the feeling. Once you’ve got him steady you decide it’s time to get your Angel involved.

“Angel,” you call out, “do you mind coming up here and stretching open our bratty demon please? I’ll give you a treat afterwards,” Smirking, you run your thumbs over Crowleys hip bones and he moans lowly. You hear Aziraphale giggle happily.

“Of course dear, you know I love getting him ready,” he teases. You hear the sheets rustle as he comes up behind Crowley, hearing the sharp cracking sound of skin on skin as the demon yelps and you giggle. Crowley scowls at you as Aziraphale bends him over, forcing the demon to place a hand on either side of your head to balance his weight and expose his pretty arse. You frame his face with your hands, thumbs running over his cheeks.

“What’s wrong you naughty little demon? I thought you liked getting spanked,” you tease, grinning cheekily. His frown deepens and he pokes your cheek.

“Don’t be mean doll,” he says, letting his head hang between his shoulders as he lets out a low groan. You can’t see what’s going on but you know Azirphale must’ve started fingering him. You remember the feel of having your fingers sucked into Crowleys tight, slick heat and your pussy aches to be filled. You try to ignore the sensation and your lips pull into an amused smile as you hear the little choked moans Crowley lets out as his arse is stretched open by the Angels thick fingers. You’re no stranger to the feeling and you know Crowleys on cloud 9.

“How many fingers has he taken Angel?” you ask curiously after a moment, letting go of the demons face and running your fingers through Crowleys soft red hair as he lets his weight relax onto your chest, forehead on the mattress right next to your head, arse propped up into the air. The slick tip of Crowleys cock leaves a sticky kiss on your lower belly when he shifts his weight. You shiver lightly as you feel what must be Aziraphales free hand, smoothly tickling his fingers up your inner thigh, wanting to touch you too. You moan gently at his touch.

“He’s already taken two, seems as if our dearest was eager for this,” he teases, with a sweet laugh as he presses his fingers inside of Crowley again, making the demon jolt forward. His arms instantly snake under your head and around your neck as he buries his face into your neck.

“Ah!” he cries out, thrusting his hips forward, accidentally rubbing the tip of his flushed cock against yours again, which makes him curse loudly. You grit your teeth because by this point, listening to them both, feeling Crowley writhe around as he’s finger fucked, you’re so unbelievably turned on, so wet you can feel it trail from your pussy down to your arse. The ache for one of them to fill you is so strong. Your cheeks burn, but you have enough self control and a plan to get through this. You know one of them is going to be fucking you at the end. So, trying to shove your own arousal down your throat, you continue to shower Crowley with filthy, sweet nothings as he gets stretched open.

“Oh my you cheeky little pup, is the Angel making your sweet arse feel so good? Hmm pretty baby?” you coo to Crowley, wrapping your arms around his upper back to keep him in place with his arse in the air. Crowley always loves any sort of dirty talk that flows from your mouth.

“Oh fuck! Yes, yes so good, shit, please love, want you inside of me, I want to ride you,” he pants, moaning against your neck, his breath heating your skin. He writhes in your hold and tightens his arms around your neck, letting out a whimper. You hum in acknowledgment, deciding to check in with Aziraphale, if nothing else but to annoy the demon further.

“Is he ready Angel?” you ask casually, running your hand up and down Crowleys upper back. You see Aziraphales adoring smile as you look over Crowleys shoulder and the Angel nods quickly.

“Yes dear, our old boy is definitely ready, he’s being such a good boy and taking all of what I give him,” Aziraphale praises, running his free hand soothingly over Crowleys lower back. The demon just moans in response, teeth digging in slightly at the base of your neck. You feel another heady pulse of arousal in your pussy at the sharp sting of his teeth and you bite your lower lip hard enough you think it might split. Letting out a breath of air steadily through your nose you reply, letting him know just what you had in mind for him.

“Good job Angel, I told you I wouldn’t leave you out yeah? I want you to sit on my face and let me eat your sweet arse while Crowley rides me okay?” you say, voice gentle but with no room for argument. You know Aziraphale gets shy admitting it but he loves sitting on your face and letting you lick at his hole until he cums hard, hips moving wildly. You fucking love it and you usually save it for times like this. Getting crushed under the Angels soft, thick thighs, you’d die happily. You hear the choked out moan that leaves lips as he slips his fingers free from Crowley and crawls out from behind the demon, who did let out a groan at the feeling of loss.

“Yes love, whatever you say,” he says easily, trying to keep his voice casual as he maneuvers himself until he’s sitting next your head on his haunches. You laugh, amused.

“Shit, that’s gonna make me cum so fast if I’m watching you eat his arse and riding you,” Crowley whimpers, complaining into your skin. You grin wickedly and unwind your arms from his shoulders. You push at his chest, getting him unstick himself from you and sit up in your lap.

“Well that’s good because I’m not letting you touch your cock this time, you wanted this so bad? Well you’re gonna work for it,” you tell him, running your hands over his slender thighs. His lips turn downward into a pout but he doesn’t argue, not so secretly loving being bossed around by you. You hear Aziraphale chuckle gently from beside you.

“Okay my little love, can we please get on with it?” Crowley says, wiggling his hips impatiently. He’s still hard and his cock bobs with his movements. Your pink tongue darts out to run it over you lips and you pat the sides of his hips, urging him to raise up. He raises to his knees but you think this would probably start out better if he got onto his feet.

“Crowley, love, I want you to get into a squatting position to ride me, it’ll be better that way,” you say, watching his eyebrows raise.

“Are you bloody serious? That’s gonna be so much harder!” he whines. You just stare at him, letting him know it’s an order not a suggestion. He purses his lips and dramatically moves into position. Planting his feet and leaning forward to brace his hands gently on your chest, squeezing your breasts.

“Don’t be such a brat, you know I’ll help you if you need it sweet thing,” you coo, smirking up at him. You bring your hand down to grip the base of your cock, wrapping your fingers around it and bracing it upwards, running the tip of it over Crowleys still very slick hole and you watch his eyes flutter as he moans and starts to sink downwards.

“Fine, fine, just don’t tease,” he pants, tilting his head down to watch you start to stretch his arse and disappear inside of him. You bring your free hand to his hip and tilt them towards you by an inch and just like that the head pops in, past his rim. He lets out a choked out sound, hands gripping your breasts tightly. You bite the tip of your tongue and let go of your cock while he seats himself fully, letting your cock stretch his sensitive rim completely. You let your hands rest on the sheets as you study him.

You’re letting Crowley adjust to your cock filling his arse for a second when you hear a soft whine come from your right side. You turn your head to see Aziraphale still sitting on his calves, clenching his hands into fists where they rest on his thighs, face bright red. You see his cock twitch a couple times, coming back to slap softly against his belly. You can tell how worked up he is by now. You know it won’t take too much to push him over the edge. He must be on the edge of bursting from not touching himself all this time. He’s such a good Angel for listening and you definitely didn’t forget about him.

“Oh don’t worry my sweet, I didn’t forget about you, I’m gonna let you sit on my face soon okay? I’m just letting our princess here get adjusted, you’re being such a good Angel for me,” you say soothingly, reaching a hand out rub his thigh.

“I know my love, it’s just so enchanting watching the way Crowley rides you,” he says, brushing hair off your forehead. You smile smugly.

“Well enjoy the show then Angel,” you tease and turn back to face Crowley, who seems to have his bearings about him again. You slip your hands under his arse, gripping his flesh, and press upwards, biceps flexing as he raises up. He uses his thighs and feet to balance as he starts to ride you with your help. He lets go of your breasts and braces his hands on his knees, using them as leverage as he starts to bounce. As you help him get into a rhythm you feel your own arousal hit you like a freight train again. You watch where your cock slides into Crowley, filling him over and over while his mouth hangs open. His eyes are shut and he looks so fucking sexy bouncing on your cock.

“Fuck Crowley,” you breathe, “you look absolutely unbelievable. Does it feel good sweet thing?” you purr, voice soft as your arms start to ache a bit from helping him move. He opens his eyes to look at you, letting out a whine. He feels his legs start to burn a little bit, but the angle is fucking amazing and he’s able to hit that spot that makes his entire body shake, pleasure shooting through his limbs like electricity every time. It easily makes him feel like he’s gonna cum in no time at all.

“Shit! Ah, fuck, yes it feels so so good darling,” he babbles as he jolts harshly. You think he must’ve been hitting his sweet spot. Thinking you can probably let him keep up the pace on his own now, you take your hands out from under him. Looking over to Aziraphale he seems to be entranced watching the demon ride you.

“Aziraphale, sit on my face lovely,” you say softly, snapping him out of it. He looks down at you and nods eagerly. “Kiss me first though Angel,” you request, smiling coyly.

“Yes, okay, I’m so ready dear,” he says, voice bright as he bends down, pressing his soft lips to yours firmly. You moan into his mouth as he rolls his lips firmly against yours a few times. You bite his bottom lip sharply and turn your head, breaking the kiss. You wink at him in approval and he takes that as his cue to raise to his knees, shuffling closer and throwing a leg over your head. He’s facing Crowley as he hovers over your mouth, making heated eye contact with the demon, noticing Crowley was watching the two of you kiss as he kept a steady rhythm bouncing on your cock.

You see the Angels thick arse above you and your tongue runs over your bottom lip. For now you resist the urge to bite roughly into his fleshy arse. Wanting to move on you shift your weight and raise your head up to press a soft kiss on Aziraphales arse cheek. You hear the Angel moan lowly. Before you pull the Angel down to devour him, you speak to Crowley once more.

“Crowley my love, you can ride me however you like, but don’t touch yourself, you’re cumming untouched, is that clear?” you say, voice steady and strong. You hear him whine, but he must agree because you feel him sit down fully. He maneuvers his legs until he’s on his knees again. Crowely starts to roll his hips back and forth in your lap, groaning when your cock presses firmly against his sweet spot. You think that’s good enough, not having the patience to make the demon speak. You snake one arm under the Angel and wrap it around Aziraphales thigh. You use the other hand to spank his arse sharply, digging your nails in there and spreading him open. It allows you to see his pretty pink hole. You hear a soft gasp from the Angel as you blow cool air over his heated flesh, feeling goosebumps erupt under the fingers on his thigh.

“Oh- doll, please,” Aziraphale whines. You take mercy on him and pull on his thigh, forcing him to sit and make contact with your mouth. He cries out loudly when he feels your wet, warm tongue swipe over his hole, he digs his fingers into his thighs. You let go of his arse cheek and wrap both arms around his thighs, holding him close as you start to run your tongue up and down over his warm hole, massaging the swirl of skin with your tongue, getting him wet. You feel his thighs tense next to your head.

You start a steady pace with your mouth, licking firmly and dipping the tip of your tongue shallowly in his hole a few times. When you take a moment to suck on the soft skin with your lips it sounds like someone ripped the sounds from the Angels chest. Aziraphales letting out sharp ah sounds with every movement of your tongue, panting hard. You feel Crowley start to bounce again, he must’ve been watching before but he’s moving quickly now. The way his thighs smack against your pelvis has your insides twisting with want. You hear the little whines spilling from his mouth. Aziraphale starts to wail when you press your tongue deeper into his hole, wiggling the warm muscle in as much as you can. You moan against him and he feels the vibrations in his cock.

“Oh! Hah, love-ah! Your mouth, it feels so amazing, I may not last much longer,” Aziraphale whines, rocking his hips. You feel a bit surprised he’s already this close to cumming but you do think about how he hasn’t been able to touch himself this entire time. Fingering Crowley open and then watching him ride you. He must’ve been really close to the edge already. You pull him tighter and really get to work, jaw aching from the effort.

“Already Angel?” Crowley pants, teasing him slightly. Crowley leans forward to brace his hands on the bed by your chest. Aziraphale laughs breathlessly as he rolls his hips back and forth over your mouth, holding onto his thighs for balance.

“You’re one to talk dear, you already look like you’re going to combust,” he cuts off with a groan. Aziraphale can feel the tightening sensation in his belly, cock drooling and jumping as your pretty mouth licks firm stripes against his hole again and again. Crowley isn’t any better, his thighs ache but he won’t have to do much more to make himself cum. Riding you, watching you eat the Angels arse, it’s all too much. Crowley burns, skin sticky with sweat and his limbs tingle pleasurably as the demon climbs the sweet peak of his orgasm.

You take the chance to move a hand from the Angels thigh to wrap around the middle of his shaft. You start to pump your hand quickly, sucking harshly on the soft skin of his hole. The Angels eyes widen, breath catching his chest as his heart hammers, so close to cumming. The next soft lick of your tongue makes Aziraphale still, he throws his head back, his voice loud enough to reach the heavens as he wails, thighs clenching around your head. He’s cumming hard, limbs filling with molten lava as his cock throbs in your hand and he covers it with his sticky release.

“Angel! Oh for fucks sake, that’s not fucking fair,” Crowley gasps, unable to hold back his orgasm any longer. The demons eyes trained on the way Aziraphales face twists in pleasure, his cheeks flushed and his cum all over your hand. He fucks himself back on your cock, two, three more times before he’s sitting down fully, eyes squeezing shut as he rolls his hips. His dick kicks, cum spurting out all over your belly.

“That’s it Crowley, good job dear boy,” Aziraphale purrs, letting you slowly pump his shaft as he gets over sensitive. Feeling your tongue flick slowly over his hole, he groans in his throat. You let go of his cock, patting his thigh twice and the Angel slips off your face to lay on the bed beside you, trying to recover. The Angel must’ve miracled the mess away because you no longer find yourself covered in their releases.

You wipe your saliva covered mouth with the back of your hand, tilting your head up to look at Crowley, who’s still sitting fully in your lap. Hands still braced on either side of you. He’s breathing heavily, chest flushed. You hum happily, seeing both of your boys have been satisfied.

“Look at you Crowley, you were so good, making yourself cum on my cock,” you praise him. He laughs softly, but winces as he raises himself off of your cock, flopping down on your right side. You start to feel where the material of the straps has been digging into your skin and you undo them, pulling them out from under you and taking the strap on off. You sigh in relief and lean up to toss it off to the side, before laying flat.

“Feeling okay my loves?” you ask lovingly, resting a hand on each of their chests. Twin sounds of agreement reach you ears. You’re feeling very content with the evening. Of course, you had hoped one of them would have enough energy to slip inside of you afterwards and make you cum so hard you saw stars, but you knew it didn’t always happen when you wore them out. Really you don’t mind having to take care of yourself sometimes. You let them rest, listening to the sounds of their breathing and take your hand off of the Angels chest to trail it down your belly aiming to touch your clit.

It shocks you when a hand grips your wrist stopping you, it was Aziraphales. You turn to look at him, eyes slightly wide. He raises an eyebrow and smiles shyly.

“I don’t think so my love, let me return the favor,” he says sweetly, letting go of your wrist and sitting up to move around and get in between your thighs. You hear Crowley chuckle from your other side and you look at him as you feel Aziraphale scoot even closer, rubbing his once again hard cock through your slick folds. You shiver and let out a groan.

“We wouldn’t leave you unsatisfied love, especially not after taking care of us so well,” he purrs, smirking and propping himself up on an elbow to watch. You feel Aziraphale guide his cock into your aching pussy, stretching you deliciously as he bottoms out in one thrust. It sends warm waves of pleasure through all your limbs. This feeling is what you’ve been waiting for all night and your back arches into the movement. You wail, letting your eyes flutter shut. The pleasure is unbelievable after waiting for so long, tingles dancing up your spine and warmth pooling quickly in your belly.

You pull the Angel down swiftly and dig your nails into his back, wrapping your legs around his hips as he fucks into you fast and rough. He snakes his arms under your back and you let him pound you into the mattress. He makes you cum so hard your vision gets blurry. In the end he makes you cum at least three times. The other two finishing at least once more. Crowley jerking himself off from the side as he watches the Angel fuck you. The three of you end up in a pile under the covers on your shared bed, sleeping soundly. The next morning you wake up thinking that sly demon does have some truly great ideas.

[halemerry]

On Aziraphale, Protection, and the Greater Good

Alright folks. I’ve already written quite a bit about the ways the Metatron was trying to manipulate Aziraphale here, but I wanted to give credit where credit is due and talk a little bit about how I don’t think that necessarily means it worked nearly as well as the Metatron thinks it does.

Because Aziraphale? Is not stupid. It’s one of his defining traits that though he might occasionally be slow, he has always been intelligent. He has also always been a fighter. And a bit stubborn. And though the fact he is allowed to be all that and still stay soft is one of my favorite things about him, that does not mean he is soft and soft alone.

With or without Crowley, Aziraphale has nearly always been a character who, above all else, does what’s right. This is part of what Crowley loves about him and it’s part about what we as the audience love about him too. He shelters a demon on the wall he is meant to be guarding. He gives away a sword to humans and lies to God about it directly to Her face. He struggles immensely with being asked to do anything he cannot reconcile with his morals and, even if he might fight against his impulses as to what’s right for a little bit, when push comes to shove he almost always falls on the right side of that scale. It’s important especially that this is also true of him even without Crowley in the equation.

Now, Crowley makes it much easier for him to be this person. He encourages and enables Aziraphale to be himself. He complicates and challenges Aziraphale’s worldview but in a healthy way that helps him grow and develop it, but never forces Az to be someone he isn’t. He also, most importantly, gives Aziraphale someone he understands. He is a connection. And a connection that allows Aziraphale to take his time and to make the excuses he needs to, at least for a little while. Because he understands that while Aziraphale is slow to change, he is not as resistant to it as he often reads to be - especially when he thinks that change can benefit the greater good.

Because Aziraphale fundamentally loves Earth and the people on it. And he knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that Crowley does too. Not taking an opportunity he has to help someone has never sat well with him - even if that person is a naked Gabriel showing up on his doorstep. He does not run away with Crowley in season 1 because it would have been wrong to run away when he felt he could help and the same principle applies here too with the decision he comes to about the Metatron’s offer.

While I definitely think the Metatron was using lovebombing and other manipulation techniques on Aziraphale I highly suspect he is underestimating his new Supreme Archangel. And I highly suspect that what is happening here is not Aziraphale folding back into this own cult as much as much a few other things that could be happening.

I may poke around at a few more of these later but for now I want to focus on Aziraphale lied theory laid out here by @las-lus. This whole season has focused quite a bit on Aziraphale lying/using sleight of hand for Crowley's sake. It makes sense he would do this too to protect him from the Metatron and critically I don’t think it’s an accident that the only shot we get of his conversation with the Metatron are flashbacks from Aziraphale's narrative point of view. Reading this actually changed the whole trajectory of this meta so please take a look at it if you've got the chance! I really love this theory a lot and would've slapped this all on a reblog if it wasn't so big. (Though I'll be the first to admit I'm biased to anything that lets Aziraphale do some rescuing.)

At it's core this makes this action a protective one. He is a guardian given a flaming sword by God. He was built to protect. And we see him in this role throughout the series even if it's not always in the way we expect or in the way he was necessarily built for.

I want to start before the beginning. This scene is an important one for a lot of reasons, but for the context of this the important bit is that Aziraphale is already anxious. He’s a bit starstruck and a little baffled by the strange angel he’s stumbled into chatting with, but his primary focus in the meat of this scene is actually concern for this stranger's welfare. The instant the topic turns critical he immediately starts glancing around anxiously. This scene ends with him saying, "I'd hate to see you getting into any trouble." and giving us one of the most worried expressions I've ever seen on his face.

Then again at Eden, the first time we meet Aziraphale, we are shown him acting twice in a row for the sake of keeping others safe. We see him offer Crowley shelter from the storm and also give away his God given weapon to protect Adam and Eve. A lot of people tie Crowley to Eden for obvious reason but I think people often forget that, yes, without Crowley humans don't leave Eden but without Aziraphale they do not survive it.

We then see him in conflict over the Flood. As far as we know he doesn't act here but he quite clearly thinks it is wrong. He's high strung and tense and his attempts to rebuke Crowley's frustration feels more like him trying to convince himself.

Now we get to Job. This minisode is so fascinating to me for a lot of reasons because through most of it, against pattern, we have Aziraphale as the driving force throughout it. First we get Aziraphale checking in with Heaven to make sure there wasn't some official solution to this. (We also get a line in there that I think says a lot about Aziraphale's priorities when he specifically draws attention to his concerns for Sitis being old enough birth that many times would be hard and risky.) Once Heaven fails him here Aziraphale is the one to reach out to Crowley and Aziraphale is the one to press for them to work together. He takes a gamble, hoping that his instinct that Crowley does not want to hurt kids is accurate, and gets up in Crowley's face to challenge him when Crowley refuses to prove him right. It is not Crowley taking the lead here, bringing Aziraphale in but rather Aziraphale trusting his owns instincts are right.

Aziraphale is also crucially the one constructing the charade Crowley plays in front of the angels as Bildad the cobbler/midwife. Aziraphale immediately and without hesitation provides Crowley with the pieces he needs to make the lie convincing enough. He tells him that what they need is an expert on human births and Crowley rolls with it and then clarifies very quickly that Gabriel witnessed Eve's birth, signaling to Crowley that mimicking that would be the play.

He is trying to tip the scales to get the outcome he wants - to keep this family safe - before he ever utters a lie. And then he does. He lies directly, giving his word as an angel. This is an act that eats him alive inside. He literally thinks he has fallen for this and has perfectly resigned himself as being damned to Hell for it and does it anyway. Because he knows it was right. Because he thinks a family of five he has no real connection to are worth falling to protect.

By the time we hit the Globe in 1601 Aziraphale's primary objection to their Arrangement has evolved from concern about what Head Office will think into concern specifically for Crowley's safety.

Then in 1827, even if it's in a misguided way, his concern starts out on Elspeth and her soul. He tries to protect her and very quickly changes his tune as soon as he's given proper evidence that what she was doing was net good. Again he is the one driving most of this narrative and the duo's actions forward as Crowley drifts along trying to get him to see that some actions aren't fully good or bad but can exist in a moral gray space. We also get him verbalizing his own moral code here explicitly when he wants to heal Morag.

He continues to have concern for Crowley on the forefront of his mind - asking very quickly after his good deed for Elspeth if he's safe or if hell noticed and then a few years later denies Crowley holy water out of concern that it could destroy him.

In 1941 we first get him operating under cover trying to unsuccessfully lie his way into dispatching some Nazi. We then get him offering himself as a magician for Crowley's sake and using sleight of hand to keep evidence of their relationship from making its way to Hell.

In particular I want to draw attention here to the fact the episode we revisit this moment in has two very similar moments toward the beginning and end of it. This episode opens with what the episode is named for - Shax hitching a ride with Aziraphale. He's relatively amicable with her until she at one point implies harm to Crowley wondering out loud why he would risk destruction for Az. Then toward the end when Furfur enters the dressing room, Aziraphale is pleasant and kind until the moment it becomes clear Crowley is being threatened. In both cases his expression turns more neutral and his body language becomes more focused and serious. He is ready to protect at all costs and is done being polite to these people who threaten his demon.

From there we go to 1976. Here as he hears about Crowley's holy water heist, he makes a choice. Even though he does not want Crowley having this weapon at all and tells Crowley as much that that position hasn't changed he realizes how dangerous trying to steal it could be. So he decides to make it as safe as he can in the circumstance, putting aside his own wants and feelings for the sake of minimizing even potential harms.

Even good old 'you go too fast for me' is a form of protection here. Even if it hurts and even if it's not want they want they need at least one of them to pump the breaks to make sure they are not discovered.

Then the world nearly ends. I won't examine what happens there too closely but I think we can all agree Aziraphale was willing to do quite a lot to insure the world and Crowley were safe once Crowley gets him on board with raising Warlock. Though I do want to note I don't think it's an accident that a lot of what Aziraphale says to Crowley at the end of six has echos of the bandstand - the last event Aziraphale has to reference that he knew would make Crowley go away.

A lot of the core of the current season is built around all sorts of protective Aziraphale actions. The flashbacks all gesture at it in some capacity, and anther notable one is him sacrificing books both as weaponry and to make the ball happen. He has committed to securing their safety before a single demon even shows up looking for Gabriel. We also get him willingly risking war to defend the people in his shop. Episode six in particular shows us a lot of Aziraphale in this mode, which he's pretty much locked into from the moment the demons arrive, Whether it's protecting Gabriel, Nina and Maggie, or at one point putting his body between the demons and a whole crowd of people including Crowley.

This season is a season that emphasizes that Aziraphale is a liar. It is one that draws attention to him pulling tricks and on him learning to do that for the greater good. It it about him learning that sometimes the choices we make are often more morally gray than we would like. And most importantly it is about Aziraphale believing this world and the people in it are worth protecting.

And who does he want to keep safe more than anyone? Who did he fight to share his life with? It makes sense to me that he would do this for Crowley. It's perfectly in character and gives Aziraphale the due credit I think a lot of theories lack. Because, to me, Aziraphale isn't the one that walks away from Omelas, Aziraphale is the child who would willfully sacrifice himself to keep the people he loves safe.

[blugerine]

I’m just now realizing the geniusness of the dance scene in season 2 and how taking a “comedy” show seriously reveals so many new things about it.

NOTE: I have no idea if Neil Gaiman wrote this scene with the intention of it being interpreted in this way, but I really think it sheds so much light on why Aziraphale and Crowley’s relationship seems like it went nowhere but downhill ever since season 1.

I feel like because New Omens is marketed as a “comedy show”, viewers usually go in with the intention not to take things too seriously (except for the more emotional beats that are signaled by somber music and intense acting *cough cough*), but as a result of that, we (or at least, I did) missed out on seeing some scenes differently because we originally wrote it off as “just a silly bit”. I definitely did that during the scene where Crowley performs the “apology dance” in front of Aziraphale because he left him alone to take care of Gabriel. I kept thinking about that scene over and over again in my head because it always seemed much more intentionally childish to me than any other goofy scene we see the husbands get up to in season 2 and even in season 1, and I just realized now a reason why that might be the case.

When Crowley comes back to the shop and has to apologize to Aziraphale, the first words that come out of his mouth are “I’m back”, and both him and Aziraphale know those words aren’t enough for Aziraphale to take him back, so what’s the next best thing? The apology dance! When Crowley initially resists the idea of performing the apology dance, Aziraphale reminds him that he’s done the apology dance numerous times in the past, listing all the specific years over the centuries to really get his point across until Crowley relents. After Crowley begrudgingly finishes the silly dance, the audience share a good laugh, Aziraphale is content enough to accept him back, and the fight they just had all seems so “stupid” now in comparison to the bigger fish they have to fry.

Now, what’s the problem in this scene? Or rather, why is this scene such a big deal in regards to why they broke up at the end of season 2? That’s because it’s, again, another example of how they always DANCE (quite literally) around the actual problems in their relationship that result in them constantly breaking up. And this has been happening for CENTURIES, time and time again, they always default to pushing their problems under the rug, letting bygones be bygones. They believe they’re forgiving and forgetting, but as Aziraphale keeps recounting all the years he’s done the apology dance, it’s very clear that they’ve actually never forgotten any of those previous instances of frustration and words of venom they’ve hurled at each other. Instead, they’ve opted to pretend they’re over it, onto “bigger and better” things to do as a distraction. The only time they start conveniently bringing up past wounds is when they have YET ANOTHER breakup scene.

The dance is performed so childishly because of the childish way they deal with the problems that arise in their relationship. Despite knowing very intricately about the infinite vastness of the universe, of mankind’s greatest strengths and weaknesses, they were not made to view themselves as having human emotions, and they were not trained to make compromises that did not threaten their very existence. Crowley and Aziraphale both started as angels, and Crowley wanted God to compromise with him about keeping the universe around for more years than She had planned. But God doesn’t take suggestions, so Crowley’s angelic status was quite literally burned from him as he was sent down to Hell, which traumatized him greatly, and made Aziraphale exist in fear of the divine punishment that came to those who disobeyed God.

As such, Aziraphale and Crowley have so little understanding of how to compromise in a healthy manner, because the first time one of them tried to do it, it ended terribly for both of them, and they subconsciously vowed never to do it again. That’s why, when one of them wants to apologize, it’s almost like a child’s idea of what one is. There’s no addressing of why Crowley’s so desperate to abandon everything and run away, or why Aziraphale is so adamant on staying, even when it clearly hurts him to do so. There’s NO reasoning or compromise. There’s NO talk other than “I was wrong, you were right”. It’s either your side or my side, or we never see each other again.

Aziracrow represents a very realistic on-and-off relationship, where two broken and codependent individuals cannot compromise for fear of divine punishment or even just fear of losing the one that means the most to them. And their little dance? It’s just one of the many times they’ve tried to ignore their very real and important relationship (and character) issues, and it just continues to rot away their relationship time and time again. It’s like putting a bandaid over an infection, but they’re both immortal and everything’s working against them to actually work on healing that infection from the inside out.

So yeah, the dance scene is fucking brilliant because no one saw that coming until you actually finish season 2 and think back on it. Again, maybe I’m just being delusional reading into a scene that wasn’t a big deal, but if Neil did write it with this intention, then I think the way he disguises meaningful insights into broken relationships, tortured characters, and religious trauma through the use of comedy to be really. fucking genius.

And really sad.

I think I might cry a bit after this actually.

(Also, hello, I still have no idea how to use tumblr 💀)

Edit: Just made a couple clarifications here and there! Also, thank you so much for all the positive reception 😭!!! Reading all your reblogged tags gives me so much serotonin agsjdgs it feels so nice being in this fandom so far ❤️

[aziraphales-library]

Hi there!!! I was wondering if you happened to have any fics where Crowley calls Aziraphale ‘sweetheart’? Any other pet names are amazing (including angel of course) but I’m just very in love with the idea of Crowley calling Aziraphale sweetheart

Thank you so much for all you hard work!! This blog is a lifesaver <3

Hello! We have a #pet names tag you might enjoy, but here are some fics in which Crowley calls Aziraphale sweetheart...

Four times Crowley called Aziraphale "sweetheart" without noticing (and One time he did) by TheLadyZephyr (NR)

"Sweetheart" (1290) - A person who is very dear to another; one who is loved. From sweet (adj.) + heart (n.) Over the years, Crowley has called Aziraphale "sweetheart" on at least four different occasions. He just hasn't actually noticed himself saying it.

In love, I am, with everything you do by 2ambiace (G)

Following the phone call with Crowley during lockdown, Aziraphale contemplates the letter he wrote and whether he should've taken Crowley up on his offer to 'slither over' and watch him eat cake. Aziraphale finds the courage in his love for Crowley to invite the demon over and cake and love confessions and kisses are shared.

Let Our Epilogue Be Soft And Sweet by Tenoko1 (T)

Crowley hit his palm against the steering wheel. “Of course I’d get upset, angel! Those bastards have tried to kill you twice, Aziraphale! Twice! I spend every damn day worried they might try again! Now-- Now-- your conveniently found and rescued angel is on the loose,” the road forked, and they veered off to a smaller country road, flying past a sign Aziraphale didn’t need to see to recognize, though Crowley gestured wildly to it, “in a god-forsaken national park? Well outside of London where no one can hear you scream? This mystery angel that just so happens to be leaking grace and emoting a distress signal so loud you can still sense it?” Crowley dragged a hand down his face. “Angel, sweetheart. Wake up and smell the trap.”

Waking Up Married by Caedmon (E)

"So you’re telling me that my options are either to convince this man I just met and drunkenly married to stay married to me for six months or lose two thirds of a billion pounds?” “That’s exactly what I’m telling you,” Fergus said. “Fucking shit,” Crowley spat. He hung up the phone and stared at it for a moment before rubbing his eyes with his fists. Now his job would be twice as hard. He needed to talk Aziraphale into staying married for six months. Should he try begging or bribing? This was a huge ask, and Aziraphale would be well within his rights to tell Crowley to fuck off. But Crowley was prepared to offer him pretty much anything, up to half of the trust, if that’s what it took. He didn’t care. But that was only part of his concern. Even if he got insanely lucky and Aziraphale agreed to stay legally married to him for the next six months, how the hell was he going to talk Aziraphale into dating him during that time? And was it foolish to even try? One thing at a time, he decided. First, he needed to convince Aziraphale to stay legally married to him. Then he could set about wooing his husband. He hoped.

flightless by viperinz (T)

Crowley finds Aziraphale injured and without his wings long after he stops the Second Coming all on his own. He just didn't expect their reunion to be so morose, and so final.

Sugar And Spice by ladydragona, SylWritesStuff (E)

Queer technology giant Anthony J. Crowley is just about ready to throw in the towel after relationship after relationship has failed, but there's a new barista at the company coffee shop and he's cute and sweet and Crowley's never been able to resist blond hair and blue eyes. The tabloids will have a field day, they always do, but his assistant is getting married and a temp is needed. A temp who really isn't very good at making complicated coffees, has past experience in reception, and absolutely no idea that the latest complicated coffee order came from the owner himself. Aziraphale only knows that he's handsome, patient, and was the first person who told him he was doing well. How could he refuse the temp position? Or, he soon discovers, more.

- Mod D

[novthewolf]

Two’s company, three’s a family - Part two

Summary : As a cupid, an angel of love, your mission was to make sure everyone was paired up with the right person. Yet you couldn’t get your two most ancient clients to finally end up together. And despite the 6,000 years spent on the case, you couldn’t bring yourself to give them up, oblivious to the actual reason...

Pairing : Aziraphale x Crowley / GN!Reader x Crowley / GN!Reader x Aziraphale (polyamorous relationship).

Parts : Previous - Next

Masterlist : Here

Warnings : Language, mid-violence, near death, slight angst, slow burn, english isn’t my first language.

Words : +3k

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(5 years later)

"Alright, Eden, this is how it's going to be : I'm going to help our dear friend with his little inconvenience while you stay here and eat every bit of grass you want. Okay ?" You said, deadpan.

And the only response from your white Dexter mini cow was a simple nudge against your palm. Aw, how could you resist her when she just looked at you with such cute eyes ? You just couldn't ! That's why you brought her with you in the first place.

"Perfect." You nodded firmly before bending down to kiss your forehead. You started to retreat. The sensation of tall grass touching your shinbone You loved it. Every sensation this world had to offer amazed you and urged you to experience everything. But right now is not the time !

"I'll be right back, sweetie ! Don't wonder off too far !" And you took off towards the meeting location.

Love angels are quite particular creatures with special abilities. As they say, love makes you blind, and even though you couldn't prove that statement, you knew that love allowed you to be blind in other people's eyes. You were capable of becoming invisible. Not all the time, but you could manage to stay this way for a few days if really necessary. You had a lot of free time.

This power was mostly there to permit you to supervise dates, gather information on your clients, and occasionally spy on a demon's secret meeting. If anyone asks, you never do that.

But lately, demons have been more and more pushy with Crowley's results, summoning him to Hell for his report. However, some lower-class demon got brave enough to come up on earth and confront him. They were jealous of the redhead; you smelled the salty taste, similar to burnt meat. And despite how stupid they sounded, they were really starting to cause trouble by sensing Aziraphale's presence and also influencing Warlock.

Thus, you decided to go help the duo by playing bait. Certainly those demons' boss would be thrilled to know they successfully scared off a love angel. Right now, you slowly flew towards the meeting point, watching closely for any aggressive behaviour. Crowley had called them to "calmly" persuade them to leave, as they were starting to draw too much attention.

It wasn't really the case ; Warlock's parents were incredibly lax. But you could always trick most of the supernatural beings since they don't spend as much time on Earth as you three. You gently leaned on a nearby tree, your expression fixed as you followed their movements.

"Go back to Hell ? So you can receive all the credit to yourself ! Don't count on it, Crawley !" The smaller one snarled vehemently.

"It's Crowley, and I really never meant to take your place in a mission you are so obviously deserving of." And he seemed to actually appreciate that; they weren't great at sarcasm either.

"What the.. urgh.. angels ? Have you had any trouble with one of 'them 'em sneaking around ?" The taller one almost gagged when he mentioned them. You knew that one, actually. You leaned in a bit more on your branch, Crowley glancing quizzically in your direction (he probably heard you), and you recognised the guy's features.

Yeah, greasy yellow-ish hair ; his right cheek was necrotic; his hideous teeth were poking out. You were just so glad Crowley had clean teeth; you honestly thank God every day for it. You've met him before during a lot of your missions; he's always there to fricking ruin every one of them. God, sorry, he was so annoying... But you loved tormenting him back. But he was getting really obtrusive in your monthly life, so today you would do your best to put them in a lot of trouble. And set his friend along; you wouldn't want him to feel lonely; you were not that mean.

"Angels ? Naaah, they are way too uptight and skittish to properly go against our forces... Why ? Have you been struggling ?" He was holding back his mockery. Which was a real struggle for him.

"Just that little wuss of an angel. They keep missing me, never brave enough to truly face me. Just waiting for the right moment to get at 'em." he growled. Oh, how strong-willed he sounded, considering he always gave up mid-chase. You looked over Crowley for a second and got almost startled at how dour his face was. You bit your lip and focused back on Bobby (not that it wasn't his name; you just didn't care enough to call him something else).

"Oooh, I'm sure you'll find the right moment to strike once you muster enough courage to step out of your mud puddle." He briefly laughed, sardonic as always.

Heh, the way some demons made their entrance was so flattering. Now, thanks to his taunting, the two have started to get aggressive. I guess that's my cue to go.

"What the fuck did you just say?" The greasy boy said it directly to Crowley.

"Oh, I think you exactly understood what I meant." Obviously, he wouldn't back down ; you didn't expect anything else from him.

Calling off the spell, you stood up. Your legs were wobbly, and you tried to stabilise yourself. And leaned casually against the trunk.

"Well, what do we have here ? Hiding away from the city, I see. Why ? Was I too intimidating for you ?" you bugged. You saw his sludge vest boil, his face scrunching, and his awful teeth showing. His little friend growled behind him, ready to launch right at you. How sweet. Crowley's eyes widened. He leaned back, arms crossed in front of his chest, observing what was going to happen next.

"You... I should wring your neck !" He was an impulsive little thing, so he wasted no time and jumped on you.

You dodged him, if you can call it that : you took off your branch and let him knock his head against it. The second came running in your direction; you decided to let gravity do its thing by letting yourself fall and firmly stepping on his bald head. Wow, I almost slipped there.

You jumped off and landed on the ground. You looked up at Crowley and mouthed to him "Eden". You didn't have the heart to leave her here by herself now that you were going to have a little fun. He rolled his eyes, sighed, but nodded anyway. You knew he had a soft spot for her. You smiled brightly and ran off.

"Don't let her near the Anti-Christ !" the shortest one bawled at Crowley, getting back up.

You halted for a second, quickly building up a plan B.

"Anti-Christ ? Is that so ?" You said, teasingly. You had to turn around, bending yourself into a position that conveyed every bit of smugness you could manage. Crowley's lips twitched upright.

"You idiots !" He snarled.

"Get 'em !" Bobby roared as best as his croaking voice could.

You burst into brief laughter before finally dashing off the scene. If your plan failed, you had a backup. You really liked running, but you couldn't let yourself drown in the feeling.

The smaller one sent an electric shock your way. You leaped up, flew for a brief moment, did a half-loop, and landed back down.

"Hey ! Don't get too flashy now ! You wouldn't want to be seen making an ass of yourself !" You mocked.

"Shut the fuck up !"

Rude...

The town wasn't that far away, and you wanted to get to a more populated area as soon as possible. Because, you know, your weapons weren't lethal, so we depended on your miracles. You were used to the human environment and what they would perceive as coincidences, odd occurrences, and full-on magic. They weren't, and you believed they weren't that dumb to expose themselves too much or hurt anybody.

Bobby had summoned a huge pit right in front of your feet. Luckily for you—not much for them—you had explored everything your human body could do, including physical effort. You grounded your feet, flexed your slightly trained legs, and leaped over the trap.

You took a sharp turn, arriving in some kind of small square, and climbed up the metal fence, winning some time. Now that people could see you, you started running, but no one was in sight. Ugh. Ooh, expect those two wild geese, plainly walking around. You smiled, determined. You materialised your bow and visualised their bound. Mmh ! Better than you expected. You could give it multiple forms; get utterly creative. This time it looked like a mini-crossbow for stealth. You put your weapon on your forearm, aimed for their chest, and let go. The geese quacked, chocked by the sudden rush of emotions. Bound complete.

You skipped past them like an antelope, nearing the entrance of the park, leading into town. More people wondered in the street, and some intended to enter the square. Worry squeezed your chest ; your breathing was itching. Please don't hurt them.

They didn't bother slowing down, recklessly running in your direction. Your brows frowned, irrated by their stupor. Mud Pie ignored the cuddling geese and violently pushed a man's shoulder with his.

"Hey ! What in the bloody hell is wrong with you, man ?" The man yelled after him, holding his arm in pain.

You took a step back. No holding back. Two were too much of a handful right now; you had to get rid of one of them.

You took two steps back. So, unwillingly, you miraculously shoved one of the geese onto the second guy. Panicked and certainly repulsed by his slimy appearance, the poor thing started to attack the pariste with all its might. Without a second thought, the mate started chasing as well. The demon desperately tried to shove the two off, but so satisfyingly failed.

You didn't have time to further appreciate the show, as your dear friend didn't even glance in his companion's direction. He was like a bulldozer, ready to wipe you off the map. You took a step back and collided with an old woman.

"Oh, I am so sorry, madam ! I really apologise !"

"No worries, dear, but why are you in such a hurry ?"

The road was right here, and you saw a car coming your way. Go across and let the car hit him. Let's go.

"Mh... Life's too short ! You must enjoy it," you said, sending a happy memory orb her way. No time to waste !

You ran as fast as was naturally possible to the other side. You looked over to the other side. Everything was blurry. Great. He was coming. The car ? Not fast enough.

The black car seemed to accelerate at the last crossroad and was steering incredibly fast. Come on, come on ! Knock him out.

He was crossing the road ! ... But you gasped in terror when you saw him pulling the grandma with him. He had pushed her as well, in front of him.

His eyes snapped at the car and morphed into those of a deer caught in headlights.

He walked forward, taking the woman with him in the process. They both fell to the ground abruptly.

The car brutally stopped.

"Miss !" you cried, fright gnawing at your insides. You dropped to your knees and shoved the mud boy away from her, checking for bruises. Broken wrist. You winced and very discretely healed it. You scanned your surroundings and almost felt your ears peek up in interest.

The Bentley.

Crowley.

"Sorry, Madam, for the incident. I hadn't expected to so suddenly cross the road," he said, his glasses hiding the not-so-guilty expression. "You were lucky this man was here to save you". The smirk he wore was devilish; he barely hid his nature, and you were honestly surprised no one had found out his true nature yet. It was so obvious.

A crowd had formed around you, people helping the poor granny and the cunt up. Crowley approached, trying his best to correct his walk.

Oh, that's right ! Where did he go ?" A bystander wondered, searching for the mysterious, dirty man.

"Maybe he's shy and couldn't appreciate all the praise he would receive for saving a person's life." You smiled in your own charming way to dispel all suspicions. Still, the secret meaning behind it made Crowley scoff.

"Will you be alright, ma'am ?" you asked.

"Oh, don't worry, dear. It's always good to know that my heart can still go through so many emotions and still be up and running." Her lighthearted laugh brought a small, tender smile to your face. You parted ways and went to Crowley.

"C'mon, sweetheart, I'll give you a lift home," he said, looking away. He seemed upset, so you tried to humour him.

"Really ?! Can I drive ?" You beamed at him, your eyes eager to receive a refusal.

"Never. Again." His teeth were grinding so much that you wondered if they would break. You pouted but didn't insist. Suddenly, you remembered your little companion.

"Eden ! Oh, my poor girl ! Where is she ?" "You grabbed the demon's arm. You were actually much more tactile than Aziraphale and him, but they got accustomed to it.

He stopped, looked back, and rolled his eyes.

"Don't worry, I put her in the trunk of the car." He nonchalantly explained as he sat down.

Wait... W-Where...

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

You absolutely didn't want to live with your poor baby in a small, cramped place, so Crowley accepted to go back near the dear little Anti-Christ place to check on your mini cow and pick up Aziraphale. You quickly got rid of your seatbelt and raced out.

When you opened the trunk, you sighed when you heard Crowley complaining about your "brutality.".

Mh, at least I'm not a barbarian who stuffed a baby cow into the back of a car.

You stopped mid-thought when you saw what the interior really looked like. Crowley had manipulated the space inside and made it wide enough for Eden to fit in nicely. It looked like a small meadow, too.

"Aww, Crowley !" you squealed in his direction as he was pretending not to see you.

"Ooh, my dear baby Eden ! Are you okay ? Are you good ?" You reached out and pulled her out. She rubbed her head against your belly and mooed lovingly. You kissed her forehead.

"Ooh, you really took good care of you, huh ? " You quickly glanced at him and saw him tensing up. He knew what you were going to say, and you smirked, delighted. "Yeah, you're right, he really likes you ! I totally agree. What a nice guy he is indeed."

"Don't you call me that !" he exclaimed, literally fuming.

"Shh, don't scream this way at her!" you lightly scolded.

"Oh, like hell, I'm going to let you insinuate things like that," he groaned. So easy.

You started to jump around, going down slowly like a feather. Eden happily did the same.

"I'm solely stating facts! You are a good demon—ah!" you screamed, surprised when he started to try to catch you.

"Come down here, you little minx !" He snarled, frustrated at your agility.

You stooped your tongue out, Eden still running around cheerful as always.

"What are you two doing ?" A familiar voice asked, deeply confused and surprisingly joyful at the same time.

"Aziraphale ! Hi !" you waved as your feet connected to the ground again.

Crowley was right behind you, hands twitching and mumbling complaints mixed with threats. Even if you knew that the angel had already seen the upset and irrated side of Crowley, you still needed to point out his good deeds!

Every opportunity mattered!

"Is everything alright ?" No time to worry ; you've got to praise!

"Yes, yes, of course ! It's just that Crowley doesn't want to admit how nice he's been today." You got behind the raging demon and gently shoved him towards Aziraphale.

"Oh, really, Crowley ? How come ?" He teased and smiled almost slyly.

You slowly backed off, letting the two interact in peace.

"Argh, it was nothin'. Just some demon who tried to jeopardise the mission, and Y/N over there immediately jumped in and lurked them away." He looked at you while saying it. You smiled with tight lips before I tilted my head for him to continue.

"And, urgh, well, I followed them and helped get rid of the nuisance." It almost burned his tongue.

"Aaand, you made Eden a comfy little space in the back of the Bentley!" you said, in the most jovial tone, making him growl.

"Aww, Crowley ! So do you have a soft spot for her, uh ?" He looked so touched. He was so adorable, you couldn't help but smile. Crowley looked bashful for a second before turning away.

"Oh, shut up. I only did it because I know what an awful thing you two feed her, so I just thought she deserved a little treat." He calmly taunted.

Awful things ?! Wait up a minute, mister !

Aziraphale regularly accepted keeping Eden with him when you had to work for a long time. He even arranged a room for her; he was very fond of her. And the food you gave her was the most healthy grass and hay you could find. Aziraphale was the one who helped you pick up a kind.

"She's perfectly healthy and happy; thank you very much !" You sprinted his way. He held up his hands in innocence, though his smirk revealed his thoughts.

"Of course, but also utterly bored." He leaned in, his smugness emanating from his whole body.

"Sure." You crossed your arms. "Because you know everything about having fun, Mister, I will never let you drive !" Yes. You were pouting. No. You will not apologise.

"Ooh, believe me, sweetheart, you're lucky I even let you near it."

Alright, so Crowley might not have appreciated how you drove the Bentley, but you both ended up having a great time ! Well, you and the car. But since you had driven with so much energy, it actually encouraged the demon to steer a little bit slower. You just shrugged the comment away.

"She's not a kart nor a race car, for that matter !" He exclaimed, throwing his arms everywhere.

"Don't underestimate her ; she's capable of a lot of things." You closed your eyes and nodded slowly. "Ah, such a shame you don't realise it..."

Speaking of realizing...

Shit. Aziraphale.

Great work, love angel. You felt bad for neglecting him and a weight settled on your shoulders.

"Anyway ! How was your day, Azi' ?" You gazed back, ignoring Crowley's ramble. The angel was facing the horizon, his absence crystal clear in his eyes. He snapped out of it, though, and a tight smile crept in.

"It went perfectly well, thank you ! Now, can we please head back to the bookshop so we can discuss our respective summonings ?" His hands were joined behind his back as he went to climb in.

"Of course ! W-Wait ! I'll go behind; this way I'll be close to Eden." You laughed nervously. Damn, you were way smoother with your other clients than with these two.

"No problem, Y/N." He simply said and smiled at you sweetly. Ah, what an angel, right ? Unworthy was what you were.

You heard Eden mooing in protest as Crowley picked her up to stuff her in again.

"C'mon, big girl, in you go- no ! No ! Not the jacket !" You tried to suppress your laughter at the sight.

"Hop on in, dear."

Aziraphale was holding the door open for you. You overdid your bow and got comfortable on the back seats, with the guardian doing the same after you. You felt guilt watching you from afar, ready to slay your throat.

"Let go, Eden ! Let go ! AAARGH-"

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"No need to overreact..."

"Overreact ?! She ate my jacket! Ugh... so ungrateful..."

Aziraphale shot him a disapproving look but didn't add anything; instead, he grabbed the torn fabric and fixed it.

"There. All gone."

The angel sat back on his seat but couldn't keep his eyes from rolling as Crowley kept on wailing about your mini cow's "betrayal". As for you, you enjoyed being the only one back there and having all this space to yourself.

You safely lay there, your mind drifting as you watched the pair talk to each other. A mushy smile painted on your face. The gentle melody of the song "Too Much Love Will Kill You", by Queen, gave the impression of a waltz in your small, confined space. Your hand was massaging your scalp to sooth you and your drumming heart. Your smile fainted with a sigh. Control your emotions, you repeated to yourself. But when you felt, you lived it thoroughly. And deep down, you suffered from it. You weren't supposed to be here. You weren't supposed to bring an angel and a demon together. And you weren't supposed to stand in between them.

Your hand slide down your body and firmly grabbed your right arm. Aziraphale was upset; you sensed it through your own emotions. He was hoping to spend time with Crowley alone without you teasing him for your own amusement. You couldn't stand in the way. You didn't want to ruin it for them. You were running out of time.

Stay away from them. Let them be...

Your chest ached as tears welled up in your eyes. The seats squeaked as you turned around, your back facing the road. Eyes shot tight, lips shivered, and a lonesome whimper crossed the barrier of your mind. The sound alerted the angel, his nature urging him to react.

"What's wrong, dear ? Do you feel ill ?"

His concern will be your death.

"Just worried, that's all," you lazily replied, seeking to close the conversation as soon as possible and give your spotlight away.

Don't worry about me...

"No need; I'll be there to help you ! Once we get to the bookshop, we'll plan out our side of the story and stick to it." You felt his eyes on you.

Forget about me...

"Don't fuss about it." Crowley said as well. "Y'know, they're... well, they're not very bright." He laughed in a breath. Aziphale couldn't restrain himself from laughing either.

A smile brushed your cheeks, not strong enough to remain there, but warmth at least tried to make its way to your heart. You looked up hesitantly, and your eyes met Aziraphale's... affectionate? You blushed involuntarily. Not affection, but compassion. Sympathy even !

Bashful, you quickly turned your eyes and looked at the interior mirror. Crowley must have sensed your eyes on him, because he almost instantly looked up at you through the mirror and winked. You rolled over again and hugged yourself tightly.

Mmph...

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I didn't expect it to be so long, but if I continue it would really be way too long 😭

Hope you enjoyed it ! I'll try my best to post once a week !

Parts : Previous - Next

Tag list : @legendary-maddie @kpop-athena @drugs-for-memes @emo-queer-boi @cunning-girl @mochikofi

[ao3cassandraic]

As far as they can

At the end of the Job minisode, Crowley inaugurates Their Side by proclaiming Aziraphale "an angel who goes along with Heaven... as far as he can," parallel to his own stated relationship with Hell.

Only it... doesn't actually work that way. Their exactlies are different exactlies.

Crowley defies and lies to Hell as often as he thinks he can get away with it. He never disabuses Downstairs of their misconceptions about his contributions to human atrocities. He cheerfully lies in his reports Downstairs, something Aziraphale briefly turns on his Baritone of Sarcastic Disapproval about in s1. Crowley even turns evil homeopathic in the latter part of the 20th century, likely in hopes that it will look good to head office while accomplishing essentially nothing. (This, of course, is another way he Crowleys himself, both with the London phone system and the M25.) After Eden, Crowley's default given an assignment from Hell is to see how he can subvert it.

Aziraphale, on the other hand, defies Her and Heaven as little as he possibly can. Sometimes, as with his sword giveaway, his compassion gets the better of his anxiety. Sometimes, as with Job's children in the destruction of the villa, he can try to stay within the letter of the law by leaving the defiance to Crowley.

His default, however, is "'m 'nangel. I can't dis- diso -- not do what 'm told." This comes out most often as respect for the Great/Divine Plan, which to him is sacrosanct. He sounds quite sincere in s1 when he says "Even if I wanted to help I couldn’t. I can’t interfere with the Divine Plan."

Aziraphale quite frequently Good Angels along by parroting Heaven's party line, whether it's "it'll all be rather lovely" or "I am good, you (I'm afraid) are evil" or droning on about evil containing the seeds of its own destruction, or condemning Elspeth's graverobbing as "wicked" (a stance he offers absolutely no reasoned support for, no logic, no "but She said," not a word -- that's very Heaven; most of Heaven's angels have the approximate brainpower of paramecia). Maestro Michael Sheen even has a particular voice cadence -- I think of it as Sententious Voice -- he uses when Aziraphale is thoughtlessly party-lining.

When the angel's conscience wars with his sense of Heaven's orthodoxy but (and this is an important but) he can't feasibly resist whatever's wrong, he offers strengthless party-line justifications he clearly doesn't agree with (as with the "rain bow" in Mesopotamia) or resorts to a Nuremberg defense: "I'm not consulted on policy decisions, Crowley!" Once or twice, he's even vocally aware of Heavenly hypocrisy: "Unless… [guns]'re in the right hands, where they give weight to a moral argument… I think." This isn't Sententious Voice. It's I-can't-disobey-and-I-hate-that voice.

But at base, the angel prefers obedience (not least because it's vastly safer), and he'd rather have someone else do his moral reasoning for him. Honestly? Pretty relatable. I know lots of people like this -- hell's bells, I've been this person, though I grew out of it somewhat -- and I daresay you do too. Moral reasoning is hard and often lonely (since it can be read as self-righteousness or even hypocrisy) and acting as it dictates can hurt. Nobody would need ethics codes if The Right Thing was also invariably The Convenient Thing.

Many GO fans find these Aziraphalean traits frustrating! Especially his repeated returns to parroting Heaven orthodoxy! Sometimes I do too! (Not least because I'm rather protective of my own integrity, and it's cost me quite a few times. I'm well-known in professional circles for picking up a rhetorical spear and tilting at the nearest iniquitous windmill. I often lose, but I sure do keep tilting. Every once in a blue moon I actually win one.)

The key, I think, to giving our angel a little grace on this (beyond honoring the gentle compassion that is pretty basic to his character) is noticing how often he can be induced to abandon an unconsidered Heavenish default stance. As irritating as his default is, and as consistently as he returns to it, it's not really that hard to talk him out of it. Crowley, of course, is tremendously good at knocking Aziraphale away from his default -- he's had to be. But Aziraphale even manages to talk himself away from his default once, in the form of the Ineffable Plan hairsplitting at the airbase!

I think the character-relevant point of the Resurrectionist minisode is making this breaking-the-Heavenish-default dynamic as clear as the contents of the pickled-herring barrel aren't. "That's lunatic!" Crowley exclaims, when Aziraphale Sententious Voicedly parrots Heaven's garbage about poverty providing extra opportunities for goodness. Aziraphale isn't quite ready to let go yet, replying "It's ineffable."

But Dalrymple (who, I think, parallels Heaven, perhaps even the Metatron -- there could be something decent there, but it's buried too deep under scorn and clueless privilege for any graverobber-of-souls to dig it out) manages to break Aziraphale's orthodoxy by explaining the child's tumor.

Once released from his orthodoxy, Aziraphale can't be trusted to handle moral reasoning well; his moral-reasoning ability is not-uncommonly (though not always) portrayed as vitiated. When he gives Elspeth the go-ahead to dig up more bodies, his excuses are just as vacuous as they were when he was convinced of her wickedness. He knows that he's crossed Heaven's line, too, and just as at Eden it's worrying him. That's why he has to talk to Crowley to nerve himself up to help Wee Morag... only he spends too much time talking, and it's too late.

But Crowley can then talk him into bankrolling Elspeth toward a better life. Aziraphale doesn't even put up any fight, both because he's compassionate and because Crowley is temporarily taking the place of Heaven (he's even Heaven-sized and staring down at them!) as the angel's moral compass.

S1 has an even worse example of Aziraphale's moral wavering, actually. Crowley yells "Shoot him, Aziraphale!" and Aziraphale sure does try to murder Adam. Again, he's adopting his morals from the nearest (and loudest) convenient source. Madame Tracy, thankfully, has enough of a moral backbone to save our angel from himself and Crowley.

(With my ersatz-ethicist hat on: this is a fight between utilitarianism and deontology. Crowley is the utilitarian, which is actually a bit of a departure for him, but he's admittedly desperate. Madame Tracy is the deontologist: One Doesn't Kill Children. Aziraphale is caught in the middle.)

I wouldn't be surprised if part of the reason we start s3 with Aziraphale and Crowley separated is so that Aziraphale finally has to do his own moral reasoning, without Crowley's nudges. I don't think it'll be easy for him. It will absolutely be lonely. And it may well hurt.

But I will watch for it, because it's how he will become his own angel, independent of Heaven and even of Crowley. And he must do that.

[siobhans-world]

“Let’s go through it. I want to see what’s on the other side”

“No, no!” Crowley laughs.

“Come on please? I’ve never been here before. Let me experience it - fully”

“You can go through it, but I’m not”

“Why?”

“Do you know how long it takes me to get my hair looking this good?”

Aziraphale winces at him and then Crowley gapes sassily back “Let’s just walk through it quickly then”

“No!”

Before he knows it, Aziraphale grabs his hand and grins “You know I can miracle it so you won’t get wet. I could miracle it so that you can walk on water if you like?”

Crowley startles at the sudden contact. It’s everything and not enough all at once.

“What? Really?” Crowley’s face lights up. This sounds like fun.

“If you like?”

“I do like”

“You mean now?”

“Sure go ahead” Aziraphale grins, gesturing to the waterfall.

“...And I can just walk through this and not get wet”

“Absolutely”

Crowley takes one tentative step forward, preparing to walk through. Excitement thrums through him and hewonders whether the water will cascade around him. How it’ll work.

This could be the coolest thing he’s ever experienced.

“You’re being serious aren’t you? I walk through this now and come out the other side completely dry”

“Yes! Go!” Aziraphale huffs.

Crowley smiles and prepares to jump right through all at once and then putting his best foot forward, he just goes for it.

“Shit!”

He leaps out of his skin as the icy cold water pummels his whole body, flattening his clothes to his body like a second skin.

The shock of it makes Crowley gasp out loud and swallow down some unpleasant tasting stream water in shock. He’s through to the otherside now, back pressed against the wall as he puts a finger in his ear and waggles it to clear the water.

He hears the shrieking laughter of Aziraphale coming from the other side and the silhouette of the angel behind the fast falling water.

“Oi, you’re not getting away with that!” He calls wondering how much Aziraphale can hear.

“I think I just did. I can’t believe you fell for it!” Aziraphale belly laughs.

So Crowley reaches a hand through the water grasping at the angel, pulling at whatever he can and tugs Aziraphale through.

“Fuck!” Aziraphale splutters under the stream, the water pummeling his wings and robes.

Crowley breaks out into a shit eating grin. Aziraphale frowns back falling forward into his arms.

They bump chests momentarily as Crowley grabs Aziraphale’s waist to steady him. Aziraphale pushes forward to get away from the ice water, presumably, but his body and his wings fill the entire space around them, crowding Crowley against the rockface behind him.

It suddenly feels a lot warmer.

Chapter 4: This damned corporation, of Heaven Has a Four Week Trial is up.

I couldn't resist drawing Crowley's pretty face

[tens-girl]

Finished Rivals… have things to say…

Spoilers obvs ——>

Eeeeeeeeekkkkkk!

If you go into this show knowing it’s gonna be big, bold, brash, and unapologetic about being those things, you’ll have a great time!

The hair, the costumes, the music (oh god, the music - who stole my playlist?!), the cast - just everything is dialled up to 200% and if you dare to question ‘is it good though?’ it just shrugs and cuts to another sex montage.

Let’s be honest, I came (ahem) for David Tennant, but honestly, I stayed for so much more. He is brilliant of course, he always is, and his ability to capture the exact centre of a Venn diagram of pathetic and evil is unmatched - nobody does it like he does. He draws sympathy for a truly awful character, and certainly made me headbutt a wall a few times wondering how Tony kept making such terrible decisions. (Also if someone could supply a montage of him shouting fuck with full passion I’d be very grateful) - as he got more pathetic I honestly couldn’t resist him. His destruction of the Declan set is one of the most laughably pathetic things I’ve ever seen and I was almost crying watching it.

Meanwhile, they’re bending over backwards to make us like Rupert and I just can’t do it. He also makes lots of terrible decisions (mostly with his dick of course) and for me it undermines the apparent ‘he loves Taggie’ thing. I just wish he’d go home and play with his dogs.

(Also Gertrude is my favourite character, just the best dog!)

Shout out to Victoria Smurfit who knocks it out of the park as Maud - she has some of the best line deliveries in the whole show, particularly as she prepares to leave for London and resume her career.

But honestly, my heart belongs to Freddy and Lizzie. If you’d told me I’d be grinning with happiness, with tears in my eyes, for a sex scene between Danny Dyer and Katherine Parkinson before I started watching this, I’d have called a doctor for you, but that’s the truth. They are spectacular and I adored them. I’ve never been a fan of Danny before, but he completely seduced me here, and I already loved Katherine (IT Crowd fans in our house) - but between them, they supplied the real ‘rooting for them’ heart of the series. I want to see them together in everything now!

Back to DT - the top tier irony of having his character win his first BAFTA and then have him clubbed over the head with it… priceless, and I personally suggest the academy honour him with a long overdue nod for this role simply in order to see him receive it with trepidation in case he gets bludgeoned with it. It even beat the joyous irony of Tony being all true blue and Tory after… well everything that went down this summer!

(Also, the way Tony passed the award to Cameron as they collected it made me think that if David had won this year for Crowley, he’d have absolutely asked Michael up on stage to give it to him because Aziraphale should share it)

And lastly… Love is a Battlefield is an excellent song, but I will never be able to listen to it again now. Oh pathetic-evil DT characters, please stop wobbling my moral compass (sorry, I’m writing Kilgrave fanfic right now so I’m all over the place in terms of right and wrong)

Anyway, it was great fun and I’ve told everyone to watch it, 80s references bingo cards at the ready!

[actual-changeling]

i cannot resist a piece of good, painful angst, so have a little something inspired by this post by @quoththemaiden and the tags i left on it

-

Aziraphale returns to heaven in a haze of heartbreak and fear, his lips still tingling with Crowley's kiss, his fingers twitching with the urge to reach for him. The white sterility welcoming him only encourages his mind to drift further, allowing him to tune out the Metatron's words and focus on simply setting one foot in front of the other. If heaven has not changed in the last few thousand years, and he knows very well that it hasn't, there will be more than enough paperwork detailing anything and everything he is being told.

"Any questions, Aziraphale?"

They have stopped in the middle of a long, empty corridor, his eyes stinging with the bleach-dry air, and Aziraphale blinks, the smile on his face never wavering; it is a mask he knows he will not be able to drop for quite some time.

"Do I have an office?"

"You can make yourself one if you deem it necessary. I will leave you to it, then."

With a small flash of light, he is gone, and Aziraphale is alone. Right.

A few hours later, he has an office no miracle in the world could make cosy, enough paperwork to last him an eternity, and a persistent itch in his left hand. It is more irritating than bothersome, an anchor keeping him from floating away into the land of celestial regulations and legal frameworks, and he is trying (and failing) to keep himself from thinking about Crowley.

He needs him to deal with this, that much is clear without knowing anything at all about how exactly the second coming is going to transpire, but for the first time in six thousand years, Aziraphale finds himself wondering if Crowley will be waiting for him when he reaches out.

Absently, he scratches the back of his left hand, the itching seemingly working its way to the surface, and picks up the next folder.

'Re: The matter of opening a direct communication line between the Department of Miracle Accounting and the Department of Miracle Archiving.'

"You'd assume they'd done that ages ago," he murmurs, opening it with a sigh and squeezing his eyes shut when he sees the first document dates back to 3076 BC. A sudden wave of sympathy for Gabriel washes through him, which disappears rather quickly when he remembers he is probably having the time of his life on Alpha Centauri.

(Even if this all ends up in a puddle of burning goo we can-- go off together.)

(Go off together?)

Aziraphale slams the folder shut and pushes it to the side, creating a new 'unimportant/for later' pile since the other one is already structurally unsound and he'd rather not have to reorganize it when it inevitably collapses under its own weight.

He scrubs a hand down his face (I could always rely on you) and forces himself to take a deep, steadying breath (You could always rely on me) before reaching for the next one, halting when a shimmer of gold draws his attention.

(And I would like to spend-)

On his left hand, in the exact spot where the itch is… was Aziraphale corrects himself, and in its place, curled around his ring finger and weaving its way towards his wrist, is a golden snake. No, not a snake, he slowly realizes, it's Crowley's snake in all its glory, uncurled and with wide open, unblinking eyes, staring up at him.

"Fuck," he breathes, his right hand rapidly furling and unfurling. After not spending more than an hour or two in heaven at a time for millennia, he had completely forgotten about his angelic markings, which had looked very different before Eden. The exact images are hazy, washed out by time and apparently a fundamental change in his essence, because the snake lazily sliding around his wrist and closing its eyes as if to nap is both new and strangely familiar.

(Listen. Do you hear that?)

Tremors run through his body, fine and yet strong enough to keep him from opening the file, from reading, thinking, planning, his mind filled with fire-red hair and golden eyes and the taste of love on his tongue.

(I don't hear anything.)

Aziraphale cradles his marked hand against his chest, pressing his knuckles to his lips and trying to recall the few seconds during which he had felt whole. Happy.

(That's the point. No nightingales.)

The snake hisses quietly, or maybe he is already starting to lose his sanity, and its glittering scales provide what little comfort he can access in heaven, missing the white noise of London, the dusty quiet of his bookshop, missing Crowley, Crowley, Crowley.

[badaziraphaletakes]

It wasn't an "offer". It was a very explicit death threat.

He said "of truth of light of good" while Metatron was (it's been very explicitly demonstrated) within earshot.

F*ck accusing a survivor who goes back to their ab*ser (not that Aziraphale had ever really been free of them in the first place) of "taking the path of least resistance".

“Without knowing or perceiving any danger” oh my god.

Yes. We are very explicitly shown that he can hear from outside. And even if we hadn't been shown that, Aziraphale can’t afford to proceed as though the literal Voice of God *can’t* listen in on him. (Also - keeping your victim uncertain how much you are spying on them and how much you know is a standard ab*se and control tactic.)

Why are we bringing Crowley and Muriel into this? Do we honestly think Crowley, let alone Muriel, is as powerful as the Metatrash?

I'm not sure which angelic visit we're referring to, but yes, the angels are menacing him because it's an intimidation tactic. Also, they just like being nasty to Aziraphale. (Ditto with hell and Crowley.)

Better to be "making up" more reasons why Aziraphale's in danger (although we don't need to do that lol) than to ignore the ones that are there. Just saying.

I don't engage with or make "you're projecting" comments because that is never helpful, so gonna leave this last bit alone.

[quoththemaiden]

The final chapter of @mrghostrat's Big Name Feelings Good Omens AU is dropping tomorrow, so obviously there was no way I could resist writing another fanscene. (Previous scene 1, 2, 3) Inspired by the sheer domesticity of chapters 15 and 16, enjoy this end-of-series scene.

—

Crowley's key fumbled against the lock — still Aziraphale's lock, technically, but very firmly Crowley's key. "Dinner was good, though?"

Aziraphale rolled his eyes a little at how much more attention his face was getting than the keyhole. Sherlock Holmes might have blamed the wine they shared at dinner for the scratches around the lock, but Aziraphale knew better. "It was delicious, of course. You should know; you were there."

"Nnyeah, well, it's your opinion I care about." As if that weren't obvious from Crowley having gotten them a table at one of the city's best restaurants on Valentine's Day and insisting on not even letting him see the bill.

As if Aziraphale was ever any good at hiding his appreciation of good food.

"Quite sure," Aziraphale replied with a gentle touch on Crowley's arm that swiftly turned into snagging the key from him to open the door himself. Crowley let out a huffy laugh as he followed him inside. "Tea?"

"Sure, if that goes with whatever we're doing next." Crowley had been trying to wheedle Aziraphale's planned gift out of him for the past two weeks, and Aziraphale had remained utterly firm in not sharing it with him. Crowley insisted that whatever Aziraphale planned would be alright with him so there was no reason for Aziraphale to be shy about it, and Aziraphale had said "I know, dearest," and somehow that's as far as Crowley's attempts at learning Aziraphale's plans ever got.

Aziraphale fussed around with the tea and put on some music — old-fashioned stuff on actual CDs, the sap — and Crowley was left to lean against the doorjamb watching him and coming to terms with being so terribly, completely besotted that their evening plans could be "absolutely nothing" and Crowley wouldn't love it a single speck less. Aziraphale had said that he'd always thought of Valentine's Day as just another day, and that he'd certainly never considered that he might be able to celebrate it publicly, so Crowley was already delighted at having coaxed him out to dinner. Crowley found himself very suddenly aware that if Aziraphale's supposed plans amounted to nothing at all, he honestly wouldn't mind. His fifteen-year-old self would eat him alive if he knew, and Crowley felt warm inside to know that that was his younger self's loss.

Crowley blinked out of his reverie in time to help Aziraphale carry the teacups into the living room, and was almost surprised when Aziraphale brought a bag in with him as he followed. "Whazzat?"

"Painting supplies, dear." Aziraphale set the bag down on the coffee table.

Another point in favor of another evening spent doing nothing unusual. Crowley relaxed back into the couch, wondering if his melting heart could leave stains on the fabric. "What're you gonna paint?"

"You!" Par for the course again, then. Aziraphale gave a happy wriggle. "I hope you aren't ticklish!"

Wait, what?

"Uh?" Crowley picked up one of the paints Aziraphale was setting out and found that the label said, quite clearly, "body safe." "Angel?"

Aziraphale looked at him with a smile that said he was still 100% confident in his plan despite Crowley's confusion. "I thought it might be a nice reminder of the con. Getting an airbrush and making stencils didn't seem sensible, really, but I know how to use a brush well enough."

Crowley let out a breathy laugh. "'Well enough' 's an understatement. Geez, now MY gift feels—"

"—completely, perfectly tailored to me," Aziraphale cut in. "I would have been actually cross if you'd insisted on getting me another sword." Crowley laughed again, and it warmed Aziraphale's heart that he'd seemed to do nothing but laugh all night. Aziraphale patted Crowley's hand before picking up his tea, taking an appreciative sip and willing it to calm the excited fluttering in his chest. "What do you think? Another serpent on your cheek? I was thinking a tree would look rather lovely spread across your spine and shoulder blades..."

Crowley shivered a little at that, easily able to picture Aziraphale straddling his hips as he lay on the bed, Aziraphale's left palm spread flat on his back to keep himself steady with the rise and falls of Crowley's breath, his paintbrush tenderly tracing a line along his spine...

"Snake first," he agreed quickly. "And then..." He looked down on Aziraphale's arms and swallowed. "Think you could paint on your own arm? I could help hold things steady for you."

"Oh," Aziraphale breathed, and Crowley's heart clenched in the best of ways. He had no idea how Aziraphale always managed to say that like he was falling in love all over again, time and time again, but he did.

No, that wasn't quite right. Crowley probably did know. He suspected it came from the same place as the way he'd looked at Aziraphale as he helped him out of the car today. Aziraphale had taken his arm without hesitation and looked up at him with a warmer smile than any mortal had ever earned, and Crowley had been certain he was wearing his own heart on his sleeve, his vest, and every other garment he owned.

He adored him, and somehow, ineffably, it was the smallest moments that made it stand out the most.

"...right," Aziraphale managed to say around the happy tightness in his throat. "Some art for the both of us, then."